What do you think?
]]>Funny huh? You can make your own by clicking here. All credit goes to the owner of that site.
I’m thinking about changing my own voicemail to this…
]]>Age really is only a number!
]]>Oxygen from Christopher Hendryx on Vimeo.
]]>PLAY LOUDER, YOU’RE WORTHLESS!!!!!
–Trevor Murnock
Play what you don’t hear
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
– Demetri Martin
If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.
– Dave Allen
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
– Elayne Boosler
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
– Albert Einstein
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
– Albert Einstein
Quick! What’s the number for 911??
–Homer Simpson
“sheep moving or sheep stealing however you call it, is age old and there is little that can be done about it, people are people and they move when they want to…(All we like sheep have gone astray, each to his own way!)”
–Liese Engel (From Scriptures, Isaiah 53:6)
Anything that can go wrong, will
–Murphy’s Law
‘Carpe Diem’ = ‘Seize the day’
‘Carp in Denim’ =’ Fish in Pants’
‘Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.’
‘When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.’
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
— Weinberg’s Second Law
]]>By Bro. Michael Dimond
A few months ago I was able to speak a few times to a Fr. Steven Scheier. Many years ago Fr. Scheier was attempting to pass another car with his Ford Thunderbird and ran head-on into a pickup truck. The violent collision snapped his neck and tore half his scalp away. Fr. Scheier was immediately airlifted by helicopter to a hospital, while the paramedics worked desperately to save his life. Barely alive, he slipped into the stillness of death. What occurred next would forever change Fr. Scheier.
Suddenly, he found himself alone, in another dimension. Something he described as a vast spiritual void.
Fr. Scheier: “I was before the Judgment Seat of Almighty God… Our Lord Jesus Christ. Our Lord [whom I could hear but not see] went through all my unconfessed, unforgiven mortal sins. There was much said in regards to my life. The only thing that I did when I heard about particular instances was internally say, ‘Yes, Yes, that’s true.’ There was no rebuttal. At the end of his speaking, God said, ‘The sentence that you will have for all eternity is Hell.’
“I thought internally, ‘I know this is what I deserve.’ It was if I had pronounced the sentence myself. I had chosen my destiny, he was just honoring that decision.
“The next voice I heard was that of a female. I didn’t see her either, but she said, ‘Son, would you please spare his life and his eternal soul.’
“The male voice said, ‘Mother, he has been a priest for twelve years for himself, and not for me. Let him reap the punishment he deserves.’
“There was a short pause and the female voice said, ‘But Son, if we give to him special graces and strengths, and come to him in ways that he is not familiar with, we can see if he bears fruit… If he does not, then Your will be done’.
“Then there was a very short pause and the male voice said ‘Mother, he’s yours.’”
Despite only a 15% chance of surviving, and injuries that should have left him paralyzed for life, Fr. Scheier defied all odds and made an unexplainable recovery.
Fr. Scheier recalls that he indeed deserved to go to Hell, for he had not fulfilled his duty as a priest: “I could not stand peer pressure. In other words, I wanted to be one of the guys. Now the priests at this time seemed to find a need to be just one of the guys, too, a lay person. And that was shown more from the pulpit than any place else in my dealings with priests and laity – because priests would get up and talk about peace, love and joy, not morality, dogma, and what the Church is all about – because this made one unpopular and God help us if a priest was unpopular – because that would mean that the money didn’t come in. So to keep the money coming in you had to tell the people what they wanted to hear.”
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